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12-01
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Be advised, your GPS coordinates place you in Uraguay. |
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12-02
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Your radio worthless. Set it on fire, make smoke signals. |
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12-03
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Have found subject. Please advise us of our location. |
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12-04
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Subject insists on being rescued by opposite sex. |
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12-05
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Subject demands rescuers bathe before approaching further. |
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12-06
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Subject has stolen litter and is tobogganing down hill. |
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12-07
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Subject has obviously never been within 100 miles of this &^%$# place. |
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12-08
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Subject is begging not to be put back in litter a third time. |
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12-09A
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What was your last message? |
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12-09B
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I was asking you what your last message was. |
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12-09C
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Well, I asked you first. |
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12-10
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We've kicked over a wasp nest and are now 4 miles from last location. |
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12-11
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Searcher stumbled into old cesspool. Send fire hose. |
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12-12
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Searcher carried away by mosquitos. Do you wish direction of travel? |
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12-13
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Searcher hurled chunks in helicopter. Team bailing out. |
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12-14
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Flare away. |
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12-14A
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Flare away. Scratch one helicopter. |
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12-14B
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Flare away. However, car window was rolled up. |
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12-15
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Is this a sketch of the subject, or a drawing of Mr. Potatohead? |
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12-16
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_________ is picking on me. |
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12-16A
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I was not! __________ started it. |
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12-16B
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Not! |
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12-16C
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Did so! |
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12-19
.
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Sure, this photocopied, enlarged, scanned, and faxed driver's license picture is perfectly clear. |
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12-20
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"Here" is not an adequate location -- please elaborate. |
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12-21
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If I knew where I was, I wouldn't need you to bring me a map, would I? |
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12-22
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Witness reports seeing subject enter gingerbread house. |
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12-24
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The ELT beacon is directly south, west, and north of us. |
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12-25
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Our computer-generated map only shows zip codes. |