|
Amateur Radio Station
(Licensed by the FCC)
Notice to all visitors:
What you are about to witness is an "Amateur Radio Station" licensed as by the Federal Communications Commission, Washington, D.C. Before you ask questions, here are the answers:
- The total cost of this equipment cannot be discussed here as it creates marital conflicts.
- No, I cannot send a message to your brother in Hong Kong. I suggest you call Western Union.
- This is a private station. We do not have the facilities or the time to fool around with TV sets, stereos, or tape recorders. I suggest you see a service person.
- Yes, the antenna in the backyard is essential to the operation of this equipment.
- The cards on the wall ~ called "QSL" cards. They are confirmation of contacts made with other "Amateur Radio Stations."
- It is technically impossible for this station's equipment to interfere with TV reception, telephones, or stereo systems. Any interference problems of that nature are caused by design flaws in the devices themselves.
- An "Amateur Radio Station" may only be operated by a highly qualified, technically skilled, electronics expert. It takes dedication, training, and intelligence to reach the level of competence that justifies one to be licensed by the United States government. Therefore, it is not considered inappropriate to show proper awe, respect, and general obsequiousness when I operate my station or discuss "Amateur Radio."
Furthermore - If you are granted the extreme honor of being invited to speak into the microphone, please observe the following rules:
- Speak in a low and soothing tone.
- Do not disagree with me in any manner.
- Say no bad words or tell any off-color jokes.
- It is customary for guests to make complimentary remarks about this station and its licensed operator when talking to other "amateurs" on the air.
Please do not touch anything. I have lost several visitors by electrocution in the past few weeks.
Found at the River City ARCS booth at the Fair
|